Real Life Dialogue

Some time ago I was involved in an online dialog for a class I was taking. The class revolved around the subject of personal biases and offered an assessment tool to try and gauge the extent of any biases (how you feel/interpret the information you are dealing with) you might have. Here are two of the answers I posted to the questions (for brevity you can guess the questions from the responses);

1. I had a pretty good idea of what my personal biases are before taking this assessment (I have done this kind of analysis before), and I found that most of what I had previously thought about myself is true.  I really had to think about a couple of the answers as certain aspects were true, and at the same time untrue or incomplete, about the potential answers as they applied to me.  Overall my answers were ‘evenly distributed’ among the choices, and the results show that the surrounding culture does not play any particular part in how I interact with others.  As a devout Christian I am often at odds with the current cultural dictates of how an individual should behave or respond to others.  Instead, I am to allow the influence of God to direct how I should interact with others, by showing common respect and in valuing others the way that He does.  In that regard I am more influenced by the Bible than by society at large.  Being from the South, I frequently ran counter to many societal influences because I always tried to treat people equally and fairly, regardless of race, nationality or culture.  Also, since I have been blessed by involvement with many large-scale institutions and learning centers, I have had a lot of exposure to a multitude of diverse cultures, outlooks and opinions.  Because of this exposure I have learned to appreciate others for who they are, even though I might disagree with them on certain issues or opinions.

2. My biases are pretty strong, because I have found Truth.  This is where I began to have some difficulty in answering the questions.  Because His Word is truth I can rely on it as the final answer to any of life’s questions (whether I want to hear that truth or not).  I need to tailor my outlook and attitudes to be in line with His, so cultural influences are not as significant in my life.  As an example, some of the lifestyle choices I see on a daily basis are contrary to what the Bible states are acceptable.  People continuously make bad choices for a number of different reasons, and often with tragic results.  I get frustrated with that pattern because of the unnecessary time, effort and expense others have to pay in responding to that person’s poor choices.  Yet at the same time, I am instructed to set aside those differences and try to help others just as He does (you love and serve the person, not for what they do/don’t do but for who they are).  Now comes the tricky part, hating the sin but loving the sinner.  Cultures have been formed over thousands of years and for numerous reasons.  My acceptance or rejection of those cultural idiosyncrasies is a choice I make, just as I must choose how I will respond to the armed robber who got shot while committing the crime, yet must be treated for his wounds while he is in my trauma bay.  That is a daily choice I make because of internal, not external, factors.

One of the students in the class had some trouble with my being so forward and open about my Christian faith and worldview, and he posted this reply;

This posting made my skin crawl.  How frightening people like this are.  I would never want this kind of person to be my nurse.  This posting sounds very self-righteous and judgmental.  I do not understand how ANY religion relates to nursing care. 

Please consider this:

1) your bible is not everyone’s bible

2) your god is not everyone’s god

3) your lifestyle choices are not everyone’s lifestyle choices

4) your truth is not everyone’s truth

5) your sin is not everyone’s sin

At first I was irritated, angry and offended. All I did was respond truthfully to the questions asked in the assessment tool, and I got this! I wanted to verbally ‘lay into him’ and let him know what I thought about his post. However, slowly and quietly the Holy Spirit began to redirect my thoughts to this passage;

Matt 10:16-20

“Behold, I send you out as sheep in the midst of wolves. Therefore be wise as serpents and harmless as doves. But beware of men, for they will deliver you up to councils and scourge you in their synagogues. You will be brought before governors and kings for My sake, as a testimony to them and to the Gentiles. But when they deliver you up, do not worry about how or what you should speak. For it will be given to you in that hour what you should speak; for it is not you who speak, but the Spirit of your Father who speaks in you.

And then I thought of this one;

Prov 15:1-4

A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.the tongue of the wise uses knowledge rightly, but the mouth of fools pours forth foolishness.

The eyes of the Lord are in every place, keeping watch on the evil and the good. A wholesome tongue is a tree of life, but perverseness in it breaks the spirit. (NKJV)

Realizing that I should respond differently than how I originally wanted to, I took the time to ask the Holy Spirit to direct my response to his ‘outrage’ at my posts. The result was this;

How unfortunate that you clearly missed my points, so I’ll try my best to help you understand.  This exercise is about personal introspection, and I did not place or force these beliefs on anyone.

Please consider this:

1.  Technically incorrect, but I defer to your intention in writing what you did.

2.  That much is evident – unfortunately.

3.  It’s appropriate that you are taking this exercise, as you clearly need to deal with your own personal biases and prejudices and actually read what I wrote about choices of lifestyle.  So you are saying it’s acceptable for people to rob and murder each other, just because it’s “their lifestyle choice?”  You’ll have to explain a bit more about what you are trying to convey, because I have absolutely no idea what you’re talking about in making that statement.

4.  Once again, that much is evident.  But let me share this saying with you (in case you have not heard it before), facts are malleable, but truth is enduring.

5.  Once again, you will have to explain what you mean.  Murder, theft, greed, hatred, adultery – you think actions like these are acceptable, just because the people that commit them think it’s alright?

You gave yourself away when you made your statement about not understanding how ANY religion relates to nursing.  I work with some of the most dedicated and caring individuals I have ever met – Christians, Jews, Muslims, Hindus, Sikhs and others.  Even some atheists, though not many.  I have the highest regard and admiration for those who approach their professions with the same dedication and commitment as I have.  I have gladly spent time, money, sweat and tears with them as we strive to reach our collective goal – helping people.  It is tragic that you can’t see the value of incorporating faith into your career, much less into your life.

You should be grateful that I personalize my faith in God, because He is the One that continues to give me the wisdom and grace to deal with life’s difficult situations.  I am not the man I was (thankfully), and it is directly because of Him.  In grateful response I try to live my life as He would want me to.  I am not offended that you don’t believe how I believe – that is your right.  I am not offended that you have gone on a rant because someone voiced a personal faith in God – that is your right as well.  I will say that I feel sad for you, because I have obviously struck a raw nerve within you to generate such a blind and hostile response.  I have my suspicions as to why you are so enraged, but this is not the place to chat about those things.  I would be more than happy to carry on this conversation in private, so PLEASE send me an email and we can share more later.

Thanks for being honest.

This real life dialogue went a different way than what I would have posted if I had just reacted to what was said against me. At the same time I can’t take credit for what was included in that post, as I believe it was the Holy Spirit Who gave me the words. Unfortunately this person never bothered to reply to my request for a continuing dialog, but that isn’t the point. We are called to reply the way Christ wants us to reply – whether we see results or not.

Our society is getting further from God’s Word, and we who follow Christ will have ample opportunities to respond to similar offenses against us. We are instructed to respond in humility and with patience, not in anger and bitterness. Thankfully the Lord was patient with me when I was ready to act in the flesh (what I wanted to do) rather than the spirit (what God wanted me to do). Do I always maintain patience and humility when talking with people like this? No, but I’m getting better at it. The real lesson I learned from this class was how to be sensitive to the Spirit of God when dealing with the lost. How we respond may make a difference between life and death with those we deal with. The question we need to ask ourselves is this; How will we respond?

We need to stay prepared by keeping continuously connected to The Vine (John 15:1-8).